Over Here, and Drama Trauma
It’s no good when I’m not writing, and it’s not any better when my writing is scattered across various giant corporations’ private systems. More here, more here, more here. (A caricature of a scientist or computer programmer in me decries repetition as a waste of time, but I know better whether from the perspective of magic, spiritual practice, or science, so nyah.)
A frequent thought which plays into my fear of exposing more of my inner experience or – horrors – reaching out for support is a generalized fear that nobody wants to hear my ‘drama.’ One response of course is for me to get specific as soon as I notice it’s generalized. That is, see if a particular incident or imagined incident is provoking the fear. If there is one that’s much easier to connect with, and if not, then that discovery itself can support me to just let it go.
At the same time, how do we stop making fun of drama? Maybe remember it’s all born of trauma. So if we don’t have time or energy for it right now and have the ability to step away that’s fine, but do but do we have to make fun at it? (Okay maybe we do with those with whom trust runs deep. With compassion, an actual levity about it can defang the despisal of drama.)
Underneath any drama or trauma can be layers and layers of experiences and thinking and confusion to sort through, but there is always someone or multiple someones in pain. When we can’t see what is stimulating it — “they’re just being dramatic” — it’s an opportunity to learn. We may not be ready to take it up, but being dismissive just deepens the alienation.
How can we love the drama? We all do already! Even the haters of drama give ourselves away (oh yes, I do it too). So many are endlessly fascinated, returning to talk about how terrible it is again and again and again. Some are driven via their fascination to even more dramatic action.
We are dramatic, most of us traumatized, beings.
What if it all deserves the attention it is treated with? What would/does that attention to drama look like when more of it is healthier?
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Good post, #DramaTrauma – so many facets of this to consider and because it is in most of us, how do we help each other while trying to deal with our own #DramaTrauma …
When everyone involved needs compassion for something it can be hard to get started. I’ve heard this called an empathy collision in Nonviolent Communication circles.
I’ve learned to see the process as “detachment with love.” When I take an inventory of my own trauma history and how it has affected my responses to current events, I have compassion for myself, the basic ground from which I can transfer that compassion to others who have like me become entangled in the quagmire.
For me, what greatly accelerates this process is healthy group sharing, structured community conversations in safe spaces of no shame. “People start to heal the moment they feel heard.” ~ Cheryl Richardson. When listening is valued as one of the highest acts of love, we begin to recover from trauma as a group, as a society, as a species.
My model is 12-Step recovery, been doing it for 35 years, have no intention of “graduating.” I’ve been writing about my journey from suicidal thinking to delicious joy since 2011, which has assisted me to detach from my drama –view it with a sense of humor — and I have hopes that one day my story will empower others. http://www.lovealwayswins.us/p/welcome.html